Friday, January 28, 2011
One year ago today
One year ago today, January 29th 2010, I first heard the word neuroblastoma. I've mentioned before that this past year has felt like the longest year of my life. But one thing that seems like it has just happened is diagnosis. The memories of that routine first year check up and the weeks that followed are still so vivid - along with all the associated emotions. Something fundamental and deep inside shifted that day, changing me forever. There are some days when I wish this was all just a bad dream, and then there are days when I have found strength I never knew I had. One of the helpful lessons I learned at the parenting course is that of acceptance. Accepting everything both good and bad that has happened, because that is my life story. Often I have tried to bury the painful memories and emotions, but to do that is to lose part of myself. Besides, it can never really be buried, because it did happen. And often, those nasty emotions have a habit of coming back stronger than ever if I try to push them down. So each day I look at Carys's beautiful face and it brings fresh hope that all will be good.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Carys turns two!!
Carys reached a special milestone on January 20th – she turned two! We had a low-key celebration with family at home. She had her heart set on a dinosaur cake (or in Carys speak – “daidoors” cake). We all had a lovely afternoon. Carys loved her cake and got lots of fun presents.
For me it was a mixed bag of emotions. Really happy that she’s doing so well, but at the same time, feeling drained and exhausted. I mentioned to Ian that I couldn’t believe Carys was turning 2. In some ways it felt like she should be turning 4, considering everything she (and us) has been through this past year. Her 1st birthday in HK seems like a lifetime ago. 2010 has definitely felt like the longest year of my life, but through it all, I think we have gained so much. We’ve found what really matters to us. Love, hope, family, living in the moment and taking the time to appreciate and cherish our children. They are both such funny, smart and caring people. I feel blessed to be their mother.
Carys has been going through a bit of a growth spurt these past few months. I think she is playing catch up. For much of last year her weight and height plateaued, but now, it seems she is growing noticeably from week to week. Her hair is also growing back, lovely and soft. It is also starting to curl at the back. So cute!
For me it was a mixed bag of emotions. Really happy that she’s doing so well, but at the same time, feeling drained and exhausted. I mentioned to Ian that I couldn’t believe Carys was turning 2. In some ways it felt like she should be turning 4, considering everything she (and us) has been through this past year. Her 1st birthday in HK seems like a lifetime ago. 2010 has definitely felt like the longest year of my life, but through it all, I think we have gained so much. We’ve found what really matters to us. Love, hope, family, living in the moment and taking the time to appreciate and cherish our children. They are both such funny, smart and caring people. I feel blessed to be their mother.
Carys has been going through a bit of a growth spurt these past few months. I think she is playing catch up. For much of last year her weight and height plateaued, but now, it seems she is growing noticeably from week to week. Her hair is also growing back, lovely and soft. It is also starting to curl at the back. So cute!
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